Bonded Read online

  Jaren’s eyes widened, but his shocked expression lasted only a moment. His tongue snaked out and flicked against her swollen nub. Teasing her for only a moment. Then he burrowed it between the folds of her pussy. “You taste so good. So sweet, just like the rest of you.” He thrust his tongue into her opening. In and out. “I love the way you taste. The way you come, just for me. You’re close again. Aren’t you.”

  It wasn’t a question.

  Another swirl of his tongue over her clit. The pleasure he brought her made it a little easier to be bold. To a point. “I want you. Inside me. When I—”

  “I will be. Next time.”

  The sexy promise sent her over the edge, her fingers tugging hard on his hair as she came into his mouth. Jaren slid her legs from his shoulders and guided them around his waist. He rose up over her prone body, pressed a kiss to her mouth. She tasted herself on his lips. “I love watching you come, sweet.” The tip of his cock nudged against her entrance. “Feel how hard that made me?”

  “Mm-hmm.”

  He kissed her again, his lips lingering against hers. “Come here.” He reared back, drawing her with him. Face-to-face. He knelt on the mattress, the hard length of his cock nestled against her slick folds.

  She buried her head against his throat. His skin was slick with sweat, and his scent, spiced with the addition of sex, filled her nostrils. She clutched at his broad shoulders, feeling as if she were about to fall. No. That wasn’t entirely true. She had already fallen. For him. “Don’t let me go.”

  “I won’t.” He thrust up into her body, filling her. Anchoring her. “I’ve got you.”

  For now. Pleasure curled through her body, battling her doubts and other emotions too strong for the moment. They rocked together, their bodies moving in perfect unison. As if they had always been lovers.

  Lust and love. Twining and intertwining together, each pushing the other higher and hotter.

  Love.

  Yes, she loved him. The words threatened to tumble out of her throat, and she bit her lip. Hard. Tasted blood.

  He eased her back onto the mattress, running a finger along her lip until her hold on it loosened. He devoured her mouth, plunged his tongue inside in time with every hard thrust of his cock.

  Jaren broke the kiss, and his rhythm intensified. He nuzzled the side of her throat. Slipped his tongue along the rim of her ear. “I love the way you feel beneath me.”

  He used that word so easily, for everything except her. If only he could love her the way she loved him. Taimi turned her head, fused her mouth with his once more to keep the treacherous words from escaping.

  All control, all restraint, was lost in the white-hot waves sweeping over her body, and she cried out as she came apart in Jaren’s arms. His cock swelled, pushing against the walls of her sheath, pulsing hard in prelude to the spilling of his seed. The feel of him coming inside her sent her into another quick, hot spiral.

  She stroked the breadth of his shoulders, felt tension knot the long, smooth lines of his back. He rested his forehead against hers, briefly. Then levered off her body. “You can’t mean it.”

  “What?”

  “The words you said. Just now.”

  Her mind was still fuzzy from the recent release of emotions and sensations. “I-I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

  “Forget it.” He rolled to the edge of the mattress. Sat up.

  He reached for his shirt, and his long fingers trembled as he fastened the buttons. His sculpted lips were drawn into a straight line, the look in his eyes distant and troubled.

  Nothing she said could have been serious enough to cause such a reaction. Could it?

  She thought back. Forced her mind to focus.

  No particular words came to mind.

  She knew what she had been thinking. What she had been trying not to say. “I can’t forget it.” She touched his shoulder, felt the taut cords of muscle through the cloth give a sharp pull, as if he were about to jerk away from her touch, but something stopped his recoil at the last moment. “Tell me what’s wrong, Jaren. Please. Tell me what I did wrong.”

  He stared at the rumpled sheets. At the distant wall. Everywhere but at her. “You can’t feel that way about me, Taimi. It’s impossible.”

  She froze. Had she really said the words? Her voice barely scraped out of her throat, raw and hoarse. “What’s impossible?”

  He still wouldn’t look at her. “You can’t love me.”

  Heat flamed her face, but now that it was out in the open, she wasn’t going to hide from the way she felt. And she wasn’t going to let him hide either. “Shouldn’t I be the judge of that?”

  He shook his head. “You don’t know—”

  “I know what I feel. I’ve never felt like this for anyone else, but I know what it is.”

  “You can’t.”

  A cold denial. It hit her then, what it all meant.

  When he said she couldn’t love him, what he was really saying was he couldn’t love her. Not like that.

  Not the way she needed him to love her.

  It was just sex. And now it was over.

  “Oh.” She sagged against the bed and tears burned in her eyes. She’d half expected this somehow, but still…

  Such foolish hopes and foolish dreams, all spun around this man. She’d thought having him buy her contract was a better fate than she deserved.

  Now she knew—it was more curse than blessing, generating the greatest pain she had ever known.

  He lifted one hand toward her face, then let it drop back to his side without touching her. “We need to get back to the ship.”

  Taimi straightened her shoulders and fought back her tears. She was an old hand at hiding how she felt. No master or mistress she’d ever served had cared about her feelings. She could pretend he was just like them. And pretend her heart wasn’t breaking. That she didn’t care. “Yes, Captain.”

  Chapter Ten

  “Papers, please.”

  Ethlinda handed over Benj’s ident card. The guard on duty examined it for an inordinately long time, and she resisted the urge to squirm. It would appear most unmasculine and would compromise her disguise.

  She opted for bluster instead. Deliberately deepened her voice, though magic had changed it to match her altered sex. “Is there a problem?”

  “Perhaps.”

  A subtle wave of her hand, unseen by the guard, and Aric stepped forward. “I’ve worked with Benj for two years. I can absolutely vouch that he is who he says he is.”

  Another pause. Finally, the guard returned the card, but not before giving Ethlinda another long, considering look. “Very well. You may board.”

  A scathing response danced on the tip of her tongue, but this wasn’t the time or place. She looked at the name tag on the guard’s uniform. Memorized it. Filed it on a long list of those she intended to deal with again, sooner or later. The list started with her ex-husband, Captain Caradoc, and included the judge who’d presided over her criminal case. And the judge who’d finalized her divorce. Then there were many of her former “noble” friends…

  She’d started the list during her first days in prison. A small consolation during those dark and dreary nights. Focusing on it helped her keep her sanity.

  Careful. You’re not you right now. She was on display and so many things needed to be perfect. The way she walked: an uncomfortable, masculine swagger. It worked with the body she wore but didn’t feel right. Felt almost indecent. She tried to remember other details from her meeting with Benj. Those small, insignificant gestures that were an integral part of expressing his identity.

  A quick, surreptitious glance showed her extra vigilance might be unnecessary. No one else questioned her identity. The arrival of Aric and Benj, though rather late in the morning, wasn’t considered enough of an event for the rest of the crew to pay any real attention.

  She trailed behind Aric, easing her hold on his mind just enough to let him take the initiative on where they walked. She
could not guide his actions in this. Though she had been on the ship a couple of times before, she’d paid little attention to its layout. Only its value and the value of the business conducted on it had mattered.

  He led her to his quarters. Looked startled when she followed him inside. Clearly, he and Benj were not roommates. She did not belong here now. A quick probe of his pliant mind produced the information she needed. Though he was an easy target, the strain of forcing his thoughts out of his brain made beads of sweat gather at her brow. Mind reading had never been her particular talent. It required a different kind of magic than what she was used to, the power needed to control and bend. “Sorry,” she said now, careful to keep her voice neutral. “Wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

  A minor tweak of the spell and he believed her completely. He reached toward the trunk standing on its short end: a makeshift closet for hanging his meager supply of clothing. He shed his rumpled shirt in one quick, hasty motion. “I’ll see you in the shop in a few minutes. Boss man’ll probably want to strangle us both for being late.”

  “I’ll tell him it’s your fault.” She flashed a quick grin, then ducked out of the room. She knew she was equally disheveled and should probably change too. It would no doubt draw far too much attention to appear in wrinkled clothing. Attention she didn’t need.

  Ethlinda called up the map of the ship she’d just plucked from Aric’s mind. Perhaps she would check the bridge, assess the current state of her quarry. It was always good to know what her target was up to.

  She slipped a hand into one of the many buttoned pockets on her stolen trousers. The syringes she’d bought from the booth catering to off-worlder medicines were still secure, filled with the potion she knew best. The needles were capped so she wouldn’t stab herself before she reached the captain.

  She was not at all familiar with these instruments. They were not normally used on Lorus. According to the merchant, if inserted into a vein correctly, it would make the dose far more effective, and in less time, than potions fed through normal means.

  Besides, she could hardly prepare any drinks for Jaren. Now or ever again. Her ex-husband was many things, but unfortunately, he was no simpleminded fool. He would have learned from the past.

  As she hesitated in the corridor, she caught sight of a familiar figure moving through the crew quarters. The little slave girl.

  Taimi.

  She barely recognized her: all dressed up in men’s clothing and without the appropriate collar around her neck. Ethlinda was used to her servants being invisible, but nothing about the girl would allow her to blend into the background now.

  Though a shadow of sorrow marred her expression, there was also something else. A spark of individuality, a show of her spirit.

  Ethlinda didn’t like it.

  It seemed Jaren had been true to his high-flown Alliance ideals and freed the girl. But it was more than her change in status that bothered Ethlinda. Her former servant appeared to have adjusted to her freedom far too easily.

  No born slave should be that free. Ever.

  It was simply against the order of things. The way they had always been. The way they always should be.

  Ethlinda thought back again to the scene between the captain and the former slave, out in the alleyway. Had it been just a day ago? Or two?

  She supposed it didn’t matter. That incident made it clear the two were intimate. Not lovers, necessarily. Even Jaren had better sense than that. But perhaps the girl would lead her to where she wanted to go.

  * * * *

  “Good morning, Taimi. Welcome aboard.”

  The warmth of the greeting startled her. Too many years of scrutiny and criticism left her unprepared for kindness. Her face flushed. “T-Thank you, Doctor.”

  He waved one graceful hand at the crates of vacuum-packed herbs and jars of potions lining one wall of the infirmary. “Captain Caradoc said these are the tools you are most experienced with using, but I’m not at all familiar with the medical practices of the Lorus system. Will you show me?”

  A spasm of pain sliced through her heart at the mention of Jaren’s name. So much for her resolve. She would be numb soon. Indifferent to the very sound of his name. She would.

  The comprehension in the old doctor’s eyes made it clear he had seen her lapse, but he didn’t push for an explanation. It was most kind of him. “What would you like to know?”

  “Identification and classification, to start with. There will be time to delve into deeper details once this voyage is underway.” Her confusion must have been as easy to read as the rest of her expressions. He smiled in his kindly way, without pity or patronization. “Fortunately, our presence is mainly a precautionary measure. There is rarely trouble, unless we run into pirates or experience some unfortunate accident in the machine shops or the engine room.”

  Relief flooded her. Though Jaren seemed to believe she was completely capable of doing this job, it would be nice not to put her skills to the test immediately. She was in no fit mental state for that now.

  She pried open the top of one of the crates.

  Gazing at the contents, she was struck by the oddest sensation: there was no scent. The controlled air swirling through the ship was constantly sanitized, but that didn’t entirely account for the lack of smell. The herbs were vacuum-packed in airtight, clear packets to ensure they lasted well beyond their ordinary shelf life, their distinctive odors trapped inside the packaging.

  She handed the top packet to the doctor. He examined the formerly purple leaves—now dried to almost black—and the fuzzy stems and small flowers browned in preservation.

  Taimi gave him the plant’s name in the Lorus tongue, then switched back to what the Alliance called the “common language,” used for diplomacy and trade, to explain the herb’s use. “It is always dried whole. The most common use is for…” She paused, fumbling through the translation from the language she had grown up with, to the language taught to her during her adolescence. Slaves were only schooled in off-world languages when absolutely necessary. “Heart irregularities. Brewed into a tea, it helps to regulate and support the proper rhythm.”

  “Similar to digitalis.” The doctor unlocked one of the wall cabinets and showed her the hundreds of vials of clear liquid, sorted by name. He pointed out the specific one he believed was the equivalent. “We don’t use this for tea; we inject it directly into the veins.”

  “That’s much more efficient.” The vial took up one tenth the space of the single packet of leaves; she assumed each of those glass containers held multiple doses.

  “True.” He nodded back at the crate. “It’s good to have both available, just in case. What’s next?”

  They continued through the case, exchanging information wherever there appeared to be matches, but some had no synthesized equivalent.

  Like the last species of herb in this particular container.

  Taimi picked up one of the packets. Her gaze grew unfocused as she turned it over and over in her hands, pausing to trace every line of every visible leaf.

  Memories flooded her mind: the smirk on Lady Ethlinda’s face when she’d declared herself a widow before ordering Taimi to dispose of ”the body.” The paleness of Jaren’s skin as he lay in contorted agony on his marriage bed, his heartbeat faint and slow, his breathing so shallow it had been easy to mistake him for dead.

  A fully loyal slave would have pointed out the mistake to her mistress. Or finished him off herself. But the captain had already wound his way into Taimi’s heart, and there was no way she would have been able to harm him.

  Instead, she’d hidden him in the catacombs beneath her mistress’s mountain estate. Nursed him back to health using this very plant. Ethlinda’s favorite poison was a concoction derived from the venom and internal organs of a slimy water creature with many arms and bright blue spots; the antidote only grew on the shores of the seas the creature inhabited.

  Ironically, it was her former mistress who’d taught Taimi about t
his plant. For years, Lady Ethlinda had farmed the creatures on the seaside estate inherited from her first husband, and her greatest fear was an accidental poisoning. She had drilled Taimi relentlessly on the symptoms such a mistake would leave behind, and made sure she was well versed in the preservation and use of the herbal antidote.

  Taimi, like everyone else, suspected Ethlinda had used the same poison on her other husbands. The way each had died was far too similar for mere coincidence, but there was no solid proof. The venom left no trace behind after the victim died.

  An odd habit of Ethlinda’s also added strength to Taimi’s suspicions. She clearly recalled how her former mistress had insisted on preparing a nightly drink for each spouse—something a noblewoman would not normally condescend to do. The entire household found it odd, but as they were all slaves, it had hardly been their place to question their mistress.

  “Taimi?” The doctor’s voice pierced her thoughts, forcing her back to the present.

  “Sorry. I was just…thinking.” She gave the doctor the name of the herb. Hesitated.

  She didn’t know why she’d purchased this plant. It had only one specific purpose: antitoxin According to expert testimony at her ex-mistress’s trial, the animal that produced the toxin was native to Lorus and not generally traded to off-worlders. And since Jaren had made it clear they would not be returning again…

  “Are you all right?” The wrinkles at the corners of the doctor’s eyes deepened as he frowned.

  “Yes.” She should put this down and move on to the next crate. Better still, she could admit her mistake and ask the doctor to help her discard it before the ship lifted off. Taimi traced the outline of the leaves again.

  No.

  Call her a fool, but she couldn’t do that. Not yet. “I was just thinking about the last time I used this.”

  The doctor took the packet out of her hands and studied the leaves with a degree of interest not displayed for any of the other herbs. “Captain Caradoc told me a little of your history together.”